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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Top Ten Villains

By On April 27, 2016
WE HAVE A COMPLETELY RANDOM POST FOR TODAY GUYS.

Because Rebekah tagged me for this super fun tag about villains. Thanks, Rebekah!

So... let's get started with this. It's basically that "Top Ten Tuesday" thing that I see ALL THE TIME (and I may try in the future) but in tag form. And I decided to do movie characters, which is really strange of me because I don't really like movies. But if I do book characters then a lot of people won't know who they are. *sighs* MORE PEOPLE JUST NEED TO GO READ ALL THE BOOKS I LIKE OKAY? *points to favorite books page* Plus it's easier to find pics of movie characters.

Anyhow, on to the post. (And btw these aren't really in any particular order, I sorta just jumbled them all in.)



RULES

1. Post the button. (YES it's a rule. *sighs in disappointment* Because I HAVE CANVA NOW and can design beautiful graphics.)
2. Thank the blogger who tagged you. (On a side note, if anyone gets tagged for something in which THIS ISN'T A RULE, I want to know about it.)
3. List your top ten favorite villains and why you chose them(they can be from movies or books).
4. Tag ten other bloggers. (You don't have to do ten, you're posting the button, we can bend a little. XD)

Kay so here's my ten villains. :D



1. Kylo Ren from The Force Awakens


I feel like this dude is a bit of a no brainer. He's creepy enough to be a good villain, but conflicted enough to not fall into the "miles beyond redemption" cliché.  He's a complex villain, with just the right amount of backstory for us to be able to understand him. And, COME ON HE'S IN THE FORCE AWAKENS HELLOOOO. This basically gives him a license to be involved in light sabre wielding epicness. *nods*
(On an interesting sidenote, The Force Awakens is one of the movies I actually REALLY REALLY LIKE. *gasps* I think it may have been because I saw it theatres and there was nothing to distract me? Jury's still out on that one though.)



2. Gru from Despicable Me


YES HE TOTALLY COUNTS AS A VILLIAN. (at least in the first movie XD) Why do I like Gru? Well frankly it's solely based upon the fact that he has an army of Twinkie-resembling minions. And he's funny. And he has a freeze ray. (WHERE CAN I PROCURE SUCH A DEVICE)


3.The Bird from Unbroken


I hesitated to put this guy in, since he's actually a legit human being, but I finally decided to since I was already scraping for more villains. (I know, strange. I should be able to think of more. XD) He's cruel. He's cold. He's downright inhumane. (If you've seen or read Unbroken you can back me up. XD) And... that's all I've got for this guy. MY BRAIN IS DEAD TODAY.



4. Vizzini from The Princess Bride



This is my only other funny villain. Which is pretty much THE ONLY reason he's on the list. That and the fact that he won the award "Most Quotable Villain". *clears throat* (Totally a thing.) Also, GO SHORT PEOPLE.



5. Javert from Les Miserables


This guy is another great example of a conflicted villain. Torn between his sense of twisted justice and the concept of mercy, Javier makes a unique and fascinating villain. (And he's used to explore an interesting concept- the lines between justice and mercy.) He's not really all that creepy? At least not that I remember. But he's proof that not all villains have to be creepy.



6. Robert Callaghan from Big Hero 6


Well, I may or may not have chosen this villain solely based upon the fact that he has a cool mask and commands an army of tiny magnetic robots. #impressive He does have a good backstory though. *nods*


7. Col. William Tavington from The Patriot


*screams* EVERYONE TAKE COVER. This guy most certainly falls into the "miles beyond redemption" cliché. (Still, a good villain though.) He's cruel. He's heartless. He may or may not be demon-possessed. He kills people for no reason at all. (not exaggerating) Basically this is one of those villains that ruins the movie for you solely because HE DOESN'T GET KILLED SOON ENOUGH. Also, I think I remember him being pretty vain. UGH I can't stand vanity in guys. No. Just no.


8. Charles Kemp from Beyond the Mask



I think the reason this dude is on the list is just because of his extremely villain-like confidence. Like, "I can destroy Boston and cripple the Revolution and no one can stop me mwahahahaha." okay fine he doesn't really laugh like that BUT HE PROBABLY WOULD if the movie wasn't historical Also, HE ABANDONS HIS NIECE TO BE BURNT ALIVE. *spoiler* Yeah she survives anyways because the badguys never win. (but if you know of a book/movie in which the badguys win, I MUST READ THIS STRANGE LITERATURE.)



9. King Miraz from Prince Caspian


He's mean. He's cruel. He murders his brother. Overall, he's just not a very nice individual. *gasping* (NO. WAY. He has such a nice face. *snickers*) He stoops to whatever means necessary to achieve his plan of taking the throne for himself, twisting the truth to suit his own means. Even his evil counselor people (NO IDEA what their names are) turn against him.



10. Pitch Black from Rise of the Guardians



So... basically this guy is just on here because I couldn't come up with any other villains. *hides* (The other suggestions were the dinosaur thing from Jurassic World- hardly a villain- and Prince Hans from Frozen. No thank you.) Not that Pitch wasn't a good villain, I just don't remember hardly anything about him. But hey, look at the pic. CREEEEEEPY. Plus I remember he has these scaryish nightmare horse thingies or something. (in the back I think) *shrugs*


So there you have it, folks! What did you think of my top ten villains? Did you agree? Is there anyone else you would have put on the list?

As far as tagging goes, I'm not gonna tag anyone just cause this tag requires a bit more thought than a normal tag. XD But if you want to try, GO FOR IT. Even if you can't think of quite ten, you can still give it a shot! :D

- Jonathan

Monday, April 25, 2016

Fishing for Lit: The House on the Corner by Michael Rains

By On April 25, 2016


From the Back Cover

For a long time, Chester, we... that is, Auntie and I and William, and a whole lot of people, we only sort of felt something might be happening around us, something we weren't really sure what it was... When Chester visits his Uncle William's stuffy house, he's only trying to avoid cleaning the hall bathroom. But a single clue written on a gum wrapper may send them all on a frantic journey, across many cities and through places unknown to society, and into a strange war that no one really understands.

Well. I'm afraid I have to be a bit negative today. *sighs*

First of all, if I had to choose one word to describe this book, it would definitely be confusing. It was just very hard to understand what was happening. It all starts out with a gum wrapper (which I never did quite pick up on the significance of) and everything just sorta happens from there.

Also, the characters were flatter than my pancakes (but to be fair my pancakes are light and fluffy THANK YOU VERY MUCH.) None of them really felt like real people to me, they felt like stiff mannequins (even the main character). And for the entire book I didn't quite understand why the main character had to help with whatever they were doing (does that sound confusing? sorry it's hard to write a review for a confusing book without being confusing). He was pretty much just tagging along for the ride, until the end.

The plot sorta just meandered along. I honestly didn't really care what happened to the characters at all, and I would tell you more about the plot, but I may or may not be still trying to figure it out myself.

But another thing that really aggravated me was the prose. *moans* I feel bad about saying this, but it was just not good prose. At all. Probably about a quarter of the sentences could have been rephrased to make them less awkward. And while I'm not one of those people who kills -ly adverbs on sight, the amount scattered through this book was irritating. And then some of them don't even make sense, like I remember once it said "standing harshly." Umm... okay then? I guess maybe that would work...

Overall, the only thing I really liked about this book was the cover. I'm afraid I have to give this one 2 out of 5 worms. And one of those is for the cover. :D

I received this book for free from the publisher through BookLook Bloggers in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed are my own.

*sighs* Well that was such a depressing review. I'M SORRY IF YOU'RE ALL SAD NOW. *hands you sour patch*

Also, in case you were wondering then YES I JOINED A REVIEW PROGRAM. *confetti* This review was a tad different than my others, because they have different guidelines. And I KNOW I haven't blogged in too long but I'm back on top of it this week (I think *coughs*) so look for another post.

Soon.

*dramatic music*

-Jonathan

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Things I Look for in a Book Before Reading

By On April 17, 2016
YES I'M BLOGGGING ON A SUNDAY. No, I haven't become a heathen who hates church (quite the contrary I love church). Currently the highway is closed because of SNOW (yes I type this on April 17 IT SHOULD NOT BE SNOWING) 

*sighs* Well anyhow on to the post. :D

We're talking about things I look for in books. (what, no way!!!????) You know, those things that get a book onto my TBR list.




*loves this pic* Yes my cabinmates introduced me to Canva yesterday, and I may or may not be mildly obsessed.

1. Creative Premise

Read in: interesting synopsis. But shhhhh creative premise sounds SO much more professional.

So basically, I want a book with something new to offer, something fresh, bold, and exciting. I don't want to read a synopsis reeking of clichés. Because I hate clichés. #murderthecliches

2. Cool, attention-grabbing, interesting, and/or brightly colored covers.

I LOVE BOOK COVERS GUYS. Like, I kid you not, I have read books based off their covers ALONE. Don't read into this too much, though. The synopsis still holds importance. If the synopsis indicated the book was a romance... then yeah I frankly don't care how brightly colored the cover is.

3. Good reviews

I really like to read reviews before I decide to read a book. Amazon, Goodreads, you name it, I read the reviews. Especially reviews from people I'm familiar with. For example.

Me: The cover of The Choosing is kinda girly. Meh, I probably won't like it.

Me: Whoa Nadine Brandes reviewed The Choosing?

Me: Whoa she's like my favorite author!

Me: Whoa she gave it a really positive review??

Me: *reads book*

4. Genre

We all have our favorite genres. Whether it's historical fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, romance (bleh, did I really just say that?), dystopian, mystery, thriller, biography, etc., we all favor certain genres over others.

AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO TELL ME YOU LIKE ALL GENRES. CAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE. IT'S NOT. (just trust my ninja-ness on this one)

Some people prefer dragons. Some prefer orphans. Some prefer aliens. Some prefer detectives.

5. Author

It's simple really. We read a book by an author. We like the book. We find out THAT THEY HAVE OTHER BOOKS (typically this revelation is revealed by a cleverly placed ad in the back of the book), and we hence go forth and devour all their books.



Well there's the post. Also, I've exercised an extreme amount of self control *ahem* by waiting to the end of the post to tell you HEY LOOK A NEW PAGE CALLED CONTACT ME WHAT.

That's right, thanks to the help of my NaNoian friend Hannah (yes that's right it's a link engage your stalking modes) I have learned the power of the blog hotmail. *cue evil laughter* I think this is a good thing? Not sure though. It may or may not turn me into an evil mastermind, we shall see.


Yes I'm using the same gif twice BECAUSE IT WORKS

So anyhow, what do you all look for in a book? How many of my points do you agree with? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE A CONTACT ME PAGE? (in which, case stalk Hannah and then after that use this helpful article which Hannah threw at me)


~Jonathan


Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Fishing For Lit: If I Run

By On April 12, 2016
We have another book review for today, so without further ado, I present to you...


If I Run by Terri Blackstock

Casey knows the truth. But it won't set her free.

Casey Cox's DNA is all over the crime scene. There's no use talking to the police, they've failed her abysmally before. She has to flee before she's arrested... or worse. The truth doesn't matter anymore.

But what is the truth? That's the question haunting Dylan Roberts, the war-weary veteran hired to find Casey. PTSD has marked him damaged goods, but bringing Casey back can redeem him. Though the crime scene seems to tell the whole story, details of the murder aren't adding up. Casey Cox doesn't fit the profile of a killer. But are Dylan's skewed perceptions keeping him from being objective? If she isn't guilty, why did she run?

Unraveling the past and the evidence that condemns her will take more time than he has, but as Dylan's damaged soul intersects with hers, he is faced with two choices. The girl who occupies his every thought is a psychopathic killer... or a selfless hero. And the truth could be the most deadly weapon yet.


So after my last REALLY REALLY thorough review, I've decided to tune this one down a little and just go general.

First off, I was pretty excited to read this book. The cover is awesome, and the synopsis is intriguing. And I was not disappointed.

Overall, I really liked the characters. They had realistic fears and struggle, they weren't superheroes or anything, and they most certainly didn't know it all. In other words, THEY WEREN'T PERFECT ANGELS. (See this post by Rebekah, number 5, for a full explanation on why no one likes perfect characters) They were just trying to do the right thing in bad situations.

Also, the storyline was very well-developed and intriguing, keeping me on my toes as I tried to figure out what was going on. A murder, a kidnapping, corruption, there's a lot going on here. And something isn't right about Casey's father dying years ago...

It was also really cool how there were two perspectives: the hunter and the hunted. It's really quite dramatic, as Dylan closes in and Casey works to solve a few mysteries of her own. They're both discovering different things at different times, which gets really interesting. Especially when we know something Dylan or Casey doesn't.

But just be warned, it's a murder. PEOPLE DIE. *gasps* So yeah it's probably rated PG-13 just because of some violence (and not fantasy, sword-swinging violence, but real violence) and a few mature elements. I'd say 16+.  So you have been warned.


Also, just something else to mention is that the book is book one in what is going to be a three book series, so it's not a stand-alone.

But overall, I liked the book and I give it 4/5 worms. :D

~Jonathan

Friday, April 8, 2016

A "Fact" (ahem) About Me Tag

By On April 08, 2016
So I have been tagged again! Hooray! *throws confetti, blows party kazoo, etc.*

Because I love tags. This time Rachel tagged me. Thanks, Rachel! :D

tag-wordpress
(I know the pic is different, but that was the pic that came with it, okay? It threw me a little too.)


So this one is called the "A Fact About Me Tag."  Anyone else noting the word "a" before "fact"?

Heh. Heh. Heh. Not gonna work like that. Sorry. XD

Because to be honest, I could never think of just ONE FACT that was interesting and/or long enough to take up a whole blog post. No. Just no. And besides, added facts are SO much more fun and interesting, right? *clears throat*

        Guidelines:

  • Take the banner and paste it to your post.
  • Tell a single, meaningful fact about who you are.
  • Explain this fact as open, and explanatory as you can.
  • Tag at least one other blogger, and give a reason why you think they should do this.
  • Add a Bible verse to close out this tag.
  • Thank the blogger who tagged you.
  • Have fun!



*looks at rules* OKAY I know it says single fact. I'M A REBEL. Besides, it's fine. literally almost everyone else who has done this DID THE SAME THING. Five facts. Just like I'm gonna do.

So here are five facts about me. :D

1. I can't draw to save my life

It's just the way life is right now. My younger sibs can, but me? Well, I can draw a stick person. IF ONLY THE WORLD HELD A GREATER APPRECIATION FOR STICK PEOPLE. I mean, how would you feel if you were a stick person? No one likes you. I say we throw out our prejudice about stick people and START TO LOVE 'EM. This sounds like a petition. Perfect. Sign below.

2. I am a night owl.

This may or may not already be a well-known fact about me by some, BUT NOT BY ALL. Nighttime is just SUCH a productive time. You can write, you can read, you can draw stick people play a game, you can do A LOT.

Plus, for some reason the night is just so much more exciting than the day. I don't know why, maybe it's just the sense of adventure you get when your light is the last one on in the house and you switch it off, scream, jump in bed, and hide under the covers.

3. I don't really like movies.

DON'T MURDER ME. It's true though. I really don't like movies very much. I would much rather prefer to be writing or reading. Occasionally, I get in this certain mood (normally a tiredish mood) and want to watch a movie, but that's like, once a month. Sometimes if my family is watching a movie I watch it though. Sometimes. And once my sister put all of us on a Anne of Green Gables marathon and we buzzed through every single movie in like, three days. It was ROUGH. But we did it. :D

You may be thinking, Night owl but no movies? *points back up at previous fact* Note the list of things I said you can do at night. MOVIES AIN'T ON THERE. Although watching a movie late does make it more fun. As does having popcorn and sour patch to go with the movie. And I've always liked going to theatres, more just for the experience though. :)

4. I can't stand coffee.

Sorry for all you coffee fans out there, but coffee is a no-no for me. It's too bitter. Even those Starbucks things that have like, TONS OF SUGAR? You know what I'm talking about? Even those are bitter. And yes, I have had them before. Some of my family members like coffee. :D

5. Science is my worst subject, and literature is my best

Ugh just thinking about my science is *shudders*. I just do not like science. Too many facts that I probably won't ever need. Like, I totally need to know how many molecules are in a carbon atom.

Unless I suddenly decide to write an apocalyptic novel with a genetic plague  taking over the world or something (which isn't gonna happen anytime soon), science isn't much help to me right now. But it's still good for me to do hard things and to be a well-rounded individual. *says half-heartedly*

Plus, I especially can't stand all THE FORMULAS in chemistry and physical science because they're so hard to memorize.

And I should think it's pretty obvious why lit is my favorite. It blends reading and writing. Win-win there. :D


Well, that was fun! And now for who I am tagging:

Hannah at Hannah Rodzzz

Amanda at Scattered Journal Pages

Emily at Writer Emily Mundell

Alyssa at Ollie the Appy

Ashley at Colorful, Creative Cards

Why should you guys do this? Um... well tags are fun and awesome and also this is a great way for people to get to know you better so yeah. :D

(I'm not sure if all of you do tags, buuuutt I was stubborn and tagged you anyways. Hehe. But if you really don't want to you can just ignore me and I won't be offended. :P)

And now for my verse. I was totally gonna do something writing related, but I couldn't find a good one, so I just chose these ones:

Psalms 18:25-26  With the merciful thou wilt show thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright; with the pure thou wilt show thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt show thyself froward.

Also, how is Camp Nano coming for you Nanoians? (totally did not make that up on the spot) Are you making your goals? (I am. *pleased grin*)

And if any of you are wondering about my blogs page, theeeen do not fear! It will be coming. Sooner or later. Currently I'm collecting links/buttons which basically involves an internet scavenger hunt. Yeah, so depending on how much I procrastinate, it could take a little while. But stand by for that. :D

~Jonathan


Monday, April 4, 2016

#Relatability (Also, The Princess Bride)

By On April 04, 2016
FEAR NOT I AM STILL ALIVE

I KNOW

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING

because just like I can hypnotize you over the internet I can mind read over the internet.

I was supposed to post this a few days ago.

WE HAD A HECTIC DAY, OKAY? and also I literally procrastinated all weekend but yeah no one really needs to read that. I have at least like ten blog posts I haven't read. Why did everyone conspire and post while I was procrastinating??? :P

But to make up for it, we have a post which I think is REALLY FUN for today! I hope you like The Princess Bride, because today, we're taking a look at readerly/writerly/bloggerly insights from the movie. What's that? You didn't think The Princess Bride had writerly insights?

Well prepare to be mindblown.

The Mindblowing Part

We shall start with this. This is a writer's trade, in a nutshell.



This pretty much sums up what I think of when I think of being a writer. SO DON'T DEBATE A WRITER ABOUT THE PRESTIGIOUSNESS OF THEIR WORK. CAUSE THEY HAVE MY PERMISSION TO CHUCK THIS AT YOU AND THEN LAUGH EVILLY. All writers have their evil laughs perfected, so you don't wanna mess with that. I mean, part of writing the villain is BECOMING THE VILLIAN. So don't get in an evil laugh war with a writer. You will fail.

This is a writer when you tell them to give up a secret from their novel. I MEAN, WRITERS ARE THE MASTERS AT NOT GIVING SPOILERS.



Or, if you try to get them to betray their friend's book secrets. Ha. Ha. Try that and let me know how it goes. We may tell our secrets to each other BUT NO ONE ELSE. It's mostly just for the critique purpose.

This is a reader when it appears as if the author is about to kill off their favorite character.



AND OF COURSE THE FAV CHARACTER STILL DIES. Because most writers love the feels. But that doesn't stop the poor, helpless readers from petitioning the dastardly author who has just ruined their lives with the stroke of a pen. *cue cackling* :P

And this is pretty much the author while the reader is flailing and weeping and sobbing over the death of the hero's best friend.



Because if someone told me they cried in my book, would I sympathize with them? NO WAY. I'd be like, I AM UTERRLY THRILLED MY BOOK TURNED YOU INTO AN EMOTIONAL WRECK SO THERE. It basically just means your writing is good. SO SORRY BUT NOT SORRY.

This is a writer trying to make a good first impression.



Because our social skilz probably aren't the most finely honed even if we're extraverts whaddya expect we spend a lot of time yelling at imaginary characters and running fingers over keyboards and trying to keep up with word goals. 

This is a writer who is trying to kill their hero's horse but just can't do it.



Well yeah most likely but now you can be in my exclusive club.  Ahem. I mean, kill the hero's best friend? NO PROBLEM. Kill his horse, or his dog, or his chinchilla, NUH-UH. It's very strange, really.

When a reader's favorite book is insulted by some helpless individual who didn't know better.



Because dat is serious. YOU EXPECT ME TO SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO YOU CRITICIZE MY FAV AUTHOR? *draws lighsabre calmly* because even though this is a princess bride post we all know Inigo Montoya would be amazing in a Star Wars movie


When someone asks a writer about their current WIP



Do you want me to start at point A,B or Q? Cause this could definitely go on for a while.

When a reader predicts the surprise ending of a book and people ask him how he did it.



Because when you predict the ending FOUR PAGES BEFORE IT IS REVEALED seriously though I did that once then you definitely want some credit. Especially when everyone else is flailing over how hard the ending hit them.

When a reader picks up a book with no action and tons of wordy prose.



OKAY I DIGRESS SOME PEOPLE LIKE THAT KIND OF BOOK. Not me, that's for sure. Something needs to be happenin'.

When someone says they like neither reading nor writing.



SO. What do you do all day, have that thing called a life play ping-pong? I MEAN YOU GOTTA LIKE AT LEAST ONE.

(No idea how this relates BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST IT. Prizes for whoever can come up with the best reason this relates to writing/reading/blogging. well not really but if you have a thought tell me  So anyhow...)



When someone mentions to a blogger they think reading blogs is a waste of time.



READING BLOGS IS AWESOME. FEEL FREE TO DEBATE ME ON THIS ONE. oh that's right it literally takes no guts for me to say that because most of you are reading a blog right now

When a writer tries to write a foreign character with an accent



Yeah I don't recommend that unless you're really experienced. I tried once. We're already ripping our reader's feels to shreds, it's nothing if we make them imagine an Irish accent.

When a blogger tries to quote someone famous without looking the quote up



EPIC. FAIL. But you risk the chance of no one having any idea of what the quote was originally before it was mutilated by the finicky memory of your bloggerly mind. you can totally quote me on that one sorry not sorry

(oh oh I almost forgot Camp Nano started. I'm totally freaking out. I'm perfectly calm and ready. If you're also freaking out calm and ready, comment below and we can freak out be calm and ready together.
And if you have any April Fool's pranks stories (or just prank ideas) SHARE THEM WITH THE WORLD. Show off your amazing pranking skills. C'mon, ya know ya want to!)

~Jonathan

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